Every now and then, I'll be walking down the street or in a store or something, and some Chinese person will come up to me and start asking me something in Cantonese or Mandarin. I say I'm sorry, I don't speak Chinese. And then I feel like an ass for the rest of the day. I think it's pretty embarassing that I can't converse in Chinese. I always feel bad that I can't help answer these people's questions. I'm sure they're asking me because they can't read English or maybe they're tourists or something.
Growing up, my grandma lived with us and she only spoke Chinese. Well, she understand some English, but never really bothered. (Like me, in reverse.) I recall my parents speaking half-Chinese, half-English - you know, Chinglish. And I know that I used to speak to my grandma in Chinese. But I only ever spoke English to my parents. And over time, my parents pretty much just spoke to me in English. So really, the only time I ever spoke it at all was to my grandma. After she passed away, there wasn't a need to speak Chinese anymore, so I didn't bother. Plus, our family speaks a different dialect anyway, so Cantonese is still kind of foreign to me, even though that's what most Chinese people in Vancouver speak. Though there's lots of Mandarin speakers these days too.
I've listened in when my parents chatted with relatives, and so from that, I could pick up some of it. But understanding a language isn't the same as knowing how to speak it at all. I can understand some phrases here and there, but that's about it. Sometimes I can understand what people are saying, but for some reason, when I want to say something, I just can't think of the words or how to put together a proper sentence. My sister laughs at my attempts. She says I sound white, which is pretty damn lame.
However, I do know some handy swear words in Cantonese. hehe. A person always needs to know how to tell a bitch to shut up in any language! lol. (I think that phonetically, it's like this: "Mo cho, say bok poh!") It wasn't until years after my grandma passed away that I realized she had a filthy mouth. There was a phrase I always heard her say that, as it turned out, meant "dirty whore." haha.
Grandma was a tough old lady. Back in the village in China, during WWII, she had to hide out in the bamboo fields when the Japanese invaded. She had my dad (when he was a baby) in one arm and a shotgun rifle in the other. Pretty crazy shit. Stories like that just blow my mind, because it's a completely different life than what we have now. Thank God for emigration!
My dad took me to China with him when I was about 19. We went to his village and my mom's village and it was crazy to see where they grew up. It wasn't like straw huts or anything like that. It was stone houses and everything. Just a very small town, that's all. Very rural. Chickens running around and water buffalo standing around on the road. Very surreal. It made me realize that if my grandfather didn't have the guts to leave, then all of that would've been my life!
Seriously, if they never left, I'd be in a loveless marriage with some gross dude, and I'd be ploughing the rice paddies with one kid strapped to my back, another kid strapped to the front, while my emotionally abusive mother-in-law would be standing 20 feet away yelling at me about what a horrible and useless wife and daughter-in-law I was. I can totally see it. So once again, I have to give my utmost thanks to my grandfather for gettin' on that boat and sailing over to the good life!!! hehe. It's true though. Thanks, grandpa!!
This post made no sense at all.
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