excess verbiage

The women's bathroom is an endless well of blog fodder. Today's topic of discussion is how some people seem to have bladders the size of elephants. Just this morning, I went to the washroom and there was someone in the stall who had just started peeing and it was almost the longest pee I've ever heard in my life. Like, I started peeing after she started, and I finished before she finished. And mine was a normal pee, I would say. Hers was like from some comedy movie, where it keeps going on and on, and just when you think she's finished, she manages to get out some more. I'm thinking, where the hell is all this liquid coming from? And how is it possible to have that much in your body? And when I saw her washing her hands at the sink, she was some tiny girl. Wtf?

It reminded me of my old workplace. If I was ever in a stall and someone else was in another stall, I could always identify a particular person by the sound of her peeing. I know, I know. Wtf, right? But seriously, this chick always came in and had what I would call "a fast and furious" pee. Like, she was the opposite of the girl I mentioned above. This chick would come in, pee a bucket's worth in about 5 seconds, and then flush, wash her hands, and be on her way. She'd be in and out of the bathroom in less than a minute.

And knowing who she was, I would say that her peeing style totally matched her personality. She would talk super fast to the point where I could barely understand her sometimes. And she also walked fast. It was funny. It's not that she peed like this once, because we all do that occasionally, right? But she did this every single time. I was like, wow, maybe you shouldn't be drinking that much, or maybe you should go more often because from the sounds of it, it's like you wait until your bladder is beyond its fullest capacity before you actually decide that it's time to go to the bathroom. Probably not the wisest thing in the world.

More bathroom tales to come.

Leave a Reply